Ode To A Friend I only Saw Once

It's memorial day, 2010, and America's at war again;
there are zones where bomb shells shade our soldiers from the smoldering heat,
and baby wipes replace showers, if they're lucky.

As for me, I sit in an airport, texting-
going home to see my mom and dad for summer break,
I've got the land of opportunity stretched out before me,
Like a velvet carpet.

Like a red, velvet carpet.

That carpet is stained with the blood of men and women,
Knitted by the bonds in which they entrust their lives,
And strewn before me, a free and willing sacrifice.

I'm sitting in this airport, and thinking, I rise,
I get up to thank someone, who put their life on the line-
I walk up to a coffee shop, and offer up a ten,
For the next man in a uniform who walks by them.

The coffee shop was busy with people needing caffeine,
So they asked that I might bring one man by them.

I knew exactly where to go, I saw him there before,
He had been smiling, talking, even laughing,
He seemed glad, proud, humble and more.

I did not know this man at all, I do not know his name,
I've only seen him this once, and probably won't see him again.
All I know is he's got two small children, who love him very much;
He's probably got a woman, who longs to feel his touch.

He's got family in Nashville, their home ruined by the flood,
All I could tell him at that, is "Man, that sucks."
He chuckled a bit and limped on, as we walked side by side,
And standing there with him, I swear I could have cried.

He smiled and he was grateful, as he gave me a hug,
He told me that that small snack meant to him so much-
And now I sit here, at the gate, writing a little poem,
Hoping that like me, my friend gets to go home.

I'm going home to see my family, in Knoxville, TN
I've got the land of opportunity stretched out before me,
Like a red velvet carpet.

IDOMAD; May 2010

I Want to Tell You

"I Want to Tell You"

I want to tell you to be strong,
But I want to tell you to cry,
I know you don’t know how you feel,
And I know you don’t know why.

But something inside you is hurting,
And everything is all confused,
And the world seems different, changed,
You want to blame, but don’t know who to accuse.

And you just want the earth to stop,
Just give you two moments out of time and space,
Because you need to catch up on some tears,
Let them roll proudly down your face.

The process is never easy,
The road is rocky and hard,
And the pain, it really does matter,
And it will leave its scars.

I want to tell you to be strong,
To bottle up all you feel,
But this is one of those meaningful struggles,
That remind you that you’re real.

February, 2010.

Sonnet I

Sometimes I find myself caught in the rain

When tempests are raging all around me

And I get so blinded by the cold pain

That the truth becomes something I can’t see

And it rips and it tears me up inside

That I cannot chase off the rain with wind

And each tries to push the other aside

And they bring more unrest unto my mind

I feel the wind in my hair, beauty there

But I can’t seem to find it in my heart

Yet I hold fast, cause I know I can bear

And can set the truth and passions apart

For the wind and truth are what I embrace

As the rain pours down, chilling my red face

IDOMAD, August 2009

"Life’s a Beach”

Life’s a beach

Where the guys talk too much smack,

The under toe is a little rough,

And you’ve got sand in your crack.

But the sound of the waves is calming,

The sun warm on your face.

Here, solitude makes you want company,

And crowds, a bit of space.

There’s always more to look at,

And twice as much to show.

And slowly you’ll learn that high tide

Always comes after low.

So sit back in your favorite spot,

Hang with friends, grab a snack,

Because this is all you’ve got-

This beach, and that sand in your crack.

IDOMAD, August 2009

"I Still"

I still search for you in the halls
I still search for comfort in your eyes,
I still see your reflection in truth,
In the beauty of the sunrise.

I still search for the words to say,
And search for the voice in my head,
And so many comforts that go unheard,
So many thoughts that go unheard.

But instead, someone's in your place,
There is emptiness in your stare,
And with that truth that does not leave,
There is this looming sense of what's unfair.

The silence jabs into my soul,
And without eye contact, silence cannot speak.
But for a time, I will muster the strength
To walk motionless throughout these weeks.

I wrote this in January/ February of this year.

IDOMAD, 2009

Nature Intones

"What Nature Intones"

Lightning flashes, startling me,
Black ashes scar a willow tree,
But no crashes can make me start,
No clashes scare my brave heart.

The rain pours, washing clean,
As outdoors, the grass turns green,
And I adore, rhythmic and sane,
Tap, tap once more, on window pane.

In its sweet tones, the wind is calling,
All alone, the rain is falling.
Nature intones, the message is clear:
"For the unknown, have no fear."

Gazing outside, beyond what's clear,
My world aside, pushing away fear,
Something inside takes a turn-
Satisfied, my soul begins to burn.

Feeling bold, like the rainbow,
Inside unfolds, outside I glow,
Feeling controlled, but also set free-
Wonders behold! -This is me.

How on earth did this song start,
What great mirth did life impart?
For what it's worth, I soon find
That from birth, this was my mind.

To the unknown, I'm always drawn,
Like snakes to stones at the rising dawn.
Deep in my bones you shall find
What nature intones, is part of my mind.

IDOMAD,2009.

Broken

Broken

The problem and the bruises have faded away
But deep inside the pain always stays-
And I wish it never happened- wish I could erase time,
But the bruises show on my heart and mind.

I didn't say a word- I'm sure others saw it in my eyes,
But they never answered my silent cries.
I was too afraid, I was already in pain-
It was all I could do to hold tight, remain sane.

So often I fight the tears as I fell asleep-
Praying, pleading the scars won't keep,
And awakening I'd hope it was some hideous nightmare,
But the bruises and the pain were always there.

I'd go to school and bite my tongue
Silencing the sad song I had just sung,
I was safe there, so I'd wear that relieved smile-
But I was only safe for a little while.

The fear of going home always stayed around,
But I couldn't say a word- make a sound!
The neighbors would never hear my screams,
And I'd start again tomorrow, wishing it were a dream.

The scars have faded, but they're so much deeper than skin-
Surely the don't show- but the smolder within-
They hit me then, just a kid.
And of my past, I shall never be rid.

But I am older now- no longer a child,
Said to be mature, tender and mild-
I was changed by the bruises and all the pain,
But I would never wish it on anyone, or go through it again.


I wrote this this past summer, and just didn't post it.

IDOMAD, 2009.

"I Should Think"

I should think beaches sink into depression
As the tide washes the footprints of its companions away,
But after sobbing to sleep, arises again,
With footprints anew where couples walk and children play.

I should think Earth mourns a flower’s wilting,
Watching one of her children loose composure,
But nurturing seedlings year after year,
Continually gives her much needed closure.

I should think trees feel barren, alone
When all the nests are left to fall apart,
But the sound of the birds over head,
Remind the poor trees to keep heart.

I should think the parks and schools sob
When the sounds of children no longer fill the swings and halls,
But that they hold on with all they are
Waiting for those nice days and Falls.

I should think the world sometimes feels abandoned-
Like they just want to know someone’s there
Just want to see, make, hear, be a difference
They want you to know they care.

IDOMAD, 2009

"Silence"

There are times when words fail me

When writing and speaking fall short

When nothing comes out right,

(Though nothing comes out wrong),

When the dictionary becomes useless,

(The thesaurus even more so),

When my heart and mind cannot translate

What’s going on in my life,

When they cannot communicate

What I want or need to say-

What you should hear;

Times when my eyes have to speak for me,

When my expressions have to explain each complexity,

When my hug has to fill the silence between us.

Right now, for Nava.

IDOMAD, 2009

Fourth of July

Friends and family gather ‘round-

Food’s on the stove and the grill;

Everyone sits and talks,

And eats their fill.

The children all play and shout,

Running around in the open air-

Giggling, smiling, fighting too,

‘Cause siblings are being mean or unfair.

The parents sit and laugh at life,

As they put it all on pause-

Just sharing a table and jokes,

Talk about the world’s quirks and flaws.

Vegetables ripe from the vine,

(And potato chips fresh from the bag)—

And suddenly everyone erupts

As the parents join in the game of tag.

Everyone is happy, the world’s at peace-

Just a few moments to understand,

Just a minute or two to remember

All that died and live for our land.

IDOMAD, 2009

"Far and Beyond"

Where is this heart of mine?-

Heaven knows.

It lies beneath where

The green grass grows.

It lies in the midnight skies

Beyond the stars,

Somewhere in the deep red dust

Of lifeless Mars.

It lies in the rings of Saturn

Between the gas and ice;

It lies somewhere deep inside-

Amid virtue and vice.

It lies in computers

Encoded in ones and zeroes;

It lies where the oceans roll,

Where the rivers flow.

It lies in the fiery core of earth

Where rocks thaw;

Somewhere in the mind-

Between apathy and awe.

Where is this heart of mine?-

Heaven knows.

Somewhere in the middle

So few people go.

Somewhere distant, but somehow close,

Somewhere deep inside a shallow pond-

Somewhere here yet there-

Somewhere far and beyond.

IDOMAD, 2009

Picture Perfect

In all those pictures
I'm smiling, bright eyed;
my knees are scraped
from doing the things I loved:
climbing trees,
riding bikes,
and running shoes;
my cheeks, cherry red,
and cute, comfortable clothes.
Those pictures, are, well... picture perfect.
They don't appear broken
or cracked
or shattered;
the colors are bright,
not blue,
not black;
there is no grief,
no pain,
no fear,
in those eyes-
no tears that miss,
no silence that haunts,
no heart that broke;
there are no crashes,
tragedies,
experiences
in that smile-
only happiness,
faith, hope, love-
joy, peace, beauty-
picture perfect.

IDOMAD, 2009

Angst

Angst


There's this miserable feeling
Deep inside my gut
This madness and frustration
That's got me in a rut.

Yet I step aside from drama,
Since it breeds and multiplies,
I know I have less of a problem
Because of the standards I defy.

But still the feeling gets me
Makes me want to scream,
Makes me feel all alone
Makes me exclude my team.

It makes me want to pull my hair out,
Makes me curse the sky,
Makes me hate the ground I walk on
But mostly, makes me cry.

I feel like I'm waiting for something
But nothing ever comes,
And yet, I have no where to go
So I stand still, feeling dumb.

It all just seems so pointless,
But I just cannot escape;
And the more I try,
The more I get bent out of shape.

Yet, somehow, through the madness
I see little snippets of beauty,
I see the light through the trees,
I see its just part of growing, duty.

I'm climbing the wall like roses
Reaching for an invisible sun,
Stretching up an endless wall,
Always more to be done.

Yet these thorns prick others,
As they catch that attitude,
I try to catch myself...
I try not to be rude.

I'm so sorry, but
There's this miserable feeling
Deep inside my gut
This madness and frustration
That's got me in a rut.


IDOMAD, 2009

Faithful Struggle

I don't always go to church on Sundays

Or remember to give rather than receive;

I don't always say my prayers at bedtime

Because sometimes it's so hard to believe.



I don't always help my neighbors as I ought

And sometimes I don't do what's just;

I don't always stand up for you, Lord,

I guess sometimes it's hard to trust.



I don't always appreciate people,

Bit I'm learning a bit more everyday;

And sometimes I'm reckless or weary

Find sometimes its so hard to keep faith.



Sometimes my Bible sits on the shelf for months

And I don't always quite know how to cope;

So often I've given up on You and me

And sometimes its so hard to have hope.



Sometimes I make up excuses as to why

When I really just need to be more open,

But the one thing struggle won't let me forget

Is that I may be strong, but I am only human.




IDOMAD, 2009

Pomp and Circumstance

Pomp and Circumstance

A mother proudly cries tears
As her baby walks for the first time;
A pilot smiles proudly,
As he first takes to the sky.

A fireman stands up straighter
As he walks with a child in his arms;
A farmer wipes the dirt from his hands
When he gathers the fruits of his farm.

A preacher feels fulfilled
As he baptizes another daughter or son;
A runner is satisfied
Whenever he thinks of the races he's won.

A father feels accomplished
When his son wins his first football game;
An actor or actress boasts
When they have earned their fame.

But an artist's triumph is felt
When their art makes men reflect, ask why;
And a poet's is felt when his poems
Make people laugh, make people cry.

To everyone I have or every will make cry.

IDOMAD, 2009

Out of My Mind

I do not come here often,
But when it rains it pours,
And as I gaze out this foggy window,
I know I've been here before.

This place where everything is sorted out,
But where everything's confused,
Where though I may be frustrated
I am ultimately amused.

This where that exists nowhere,
This place that's not a place;
This thing that mutes pride,
But not the fear of disgrace.

The emptiness that's brimming,
The matter that doesn't matter;
The sound that is silent,
The silence that clatters.

Where I am I do not know,
But I've been here many times-
This place tucked away inside my head,
Somewhere out of my mind.


IDOMAD, 2009

I neither expect the way to be easy,

nor the path to be cleared,

nor the road to be paved,

for great fruits stem from great labor.

I can neither focus ahead,

nor can I see very far,

and hope shrinks at wondering

if every effort will be in vain.

I can neither rely on companions,

but nor can I successfully walk alone,

and each step teaches me about

that thin line between independence and solitude.

Though often branches block the view,

sometimes I can see for a thousand miles,

but sometimes I see things so clearly

that they seem blurry.

With my vision obstructed,

I cannot see every snare-

but I can walk ahead anyway,

willing to work, and unafraid to fail.

IDOMAD, 2009

A Snake

Such vivid lies he tells,
that I, their subject, almost believe them.
With such horrific conviction he tells them,
as if he believes them.
Is he really lying to me-
or to himself?

I, I know him,
(even though he disputes it,)
I know how low he'll sink
to feel empowered,
to get attention,
to belittle me.

Nothing's changed in him-
pathetic, selfish, ignorant soul that he is.
Nothing's changed in his heart-
or perhaps, lack thereof, the ungrateful boy.

He hasn't grown up,
still self-pitying, still disrespectful,
still resentful, still full of hate-
rotting slowly like a corpse,
a disease among the living-
(those who still have beating hearts-)
smelling more putrid and pungent every day
like sulfurous fumes from the very pits of Hell,
fertilizing the ground, good for nothing else.

Hatred cannot justify hatred, but nor can love excuse it,
for there are some rivers-
so deep, so black, so thick with mud, so caked with dirt,
so polluted with trash, so infected with mosquitoes,
so neglected and abused,
that the sun does not reflect off its shady surface.

The future offers escape- refuge!-
but only if people stop believing the lies,
if people believe what they know,
if people shut out what they're told,
if people refute the lies.

A snake that haunts me, the lies,
cutting off the connections to those I love,
threatening more, threatening my future,
threatening dreams, threatening my life,
trying to strangle the connections to my love.

IDOMAD, 2009

As Sleep Comes

As sleep comes, I listen to the silence,

to my heartbeat, or to my music,

and each is its own lullaby

as it hums the harmony

to my ev’ry thought, my ev’ry feeling.

As sleep comes, I sip on chamomile,

which steadies my mind, strengthens my heart,

relieves me of the world’s burdens,

as it captures clarity

and makes everything seem so simple.

As sleep comes, I watch a tea light flicker,

and it stirs my thoughts, but settles them

as it eases my eyes gently

from the garish lights of day

and it shows that I am truly alone.

As sleep comes, I smell delicate roses

(scent that lingers though the rose is dry)

that absorb my heart, swept along

to a world where thorns don’t prick,

for they refuse to spo’il such smooth hands.

As sleep comes, I feel the comfort of night,

warmth that contrasts day’s constant cruelty,

shelter of trust and cautious hope,

hands that extend out to me,

love that forever holds me by its side.

IDOMAD, 2009

Together

Holding it Together
Inspired by Virgil's Aeneid, especially Book II

I'm holding all the loose ends together,
Though sometimes it feels like I'm breaking;
Surely there has to be one last straw-
For under this weight I bow, shaking.

On my back I carry the remnants of life- expiring-
I carry hopelessness, and I carry the past.
But I also hold values, and though they increase my burden,
They promise I will meet an end to suffering at last.

Following me is the innocent- a sufferer, too,
Though he does not understand the pain.
Even as he walks on his own feet, I guide him,
The helpless young soul I must maintain.

In his face, I see questions, and I see doubt
And though I feel it too, he shows the fear I dare not;
I also hide frustration, shame, grief, anger-
All for lost battles in which, in vain, I fought.

Strength and humanity are all I have left,
The only things that drive me are hope and Fate,
For I must lead the innocent to his new life,
With the promise and the destiny of being great.

I hold all the loose ends together,
Though sometimes it feels like I'm breaking;
Surely there has to be one last straw-
For under this weight I bow, shaking.

Yet I keep going- of free will, or not?
Am I an agent or merely a device?-
I ask these, but push them aside:
I've been promised reward for all the sacrifice.



IDOMAD, 2009

Earth

Earth,

You know everything we do
You see it with your eyes-
With your brown soil, green grass,
And your azure skies.

You feel it all with the wind
As it swirls around you, Earth;
You taste the taste of death
You're inspired by birth.

You listen to the calls of beasts,
And answer the voice of man;
You echo back your story
Of when time began

You hold life together
With its balance, good and evil,
With its circle of life,
Showing all things can be beautiful


IDOMAD, 2009

Safe

Safe

A baby in her mother's arms
Safe in her ignorance, innocence
A child in her father's lap
Safe in the blanket of knowledge, wisdom
A young girl talking to friends
Safe in sympathy, in comfort, in understanding
A teenage girl in her own skin
Safe from peer pressure, poison
A young woman in her boyfriend's arms
Safe in a moment, in innocent love
A woman in her wedding dress
Safe from time, from age, from loneliness
A mother with her children close
Safe in her confident protection
A parent letting her children go
Safe in her own accomplishment
An old woman in bed next to her love
Safe in satisfaction, safe from death


IDOMAD, 2009

Spring Fever

Spring Fever

A loud lecture-voice lingers
In this hallow hall, filled with knowledge,
But the sunlight beyond the glass
Calls to me, beckons me.

Though I can only see lonely branches,
I know that somewhere beneath them
Is a glistening, grassy, green lawn,
Shaded from the wind of the world.

And books call to me- Shakespeare and Kipling,
And Poe, and Dickens, Austen, Milton and Vergil;
And the cool calmness of Spring serenity
Offers me the care and the rest I cannot accept.

The walls and white-board reflect unnatural light
Giving me a headache I mush fight
And I close my eyes, for one quick moment,
And opening them, I hear the voice once more

IDOMAD, 2009

Into the Sunset

Into the Sunset
For My Chicas

Loud laughter and contagious smiles
Escape growing up for a little while;
Encouraging words- wise and mature-
Show we are still looking to the future.

Dances and foolishness galore,
As we know each other like never before;
Moments of terror, overwhelming tears,
Those, of course, also dwell here.

We talk about school, guys, and life;
Alongside each other we conquer strife;
Indeed we create problems of our own-
But we always come back- together, our home.

Changes come quickly, too well we know-
Tings and people come and go.
So, holding each others' hands, smothering regret,
We approach the future, walking into the sunset.


IDOMAD, 2009

Exhaustion

Crushing exhaustion
Weighs down my eyelids
My shoulders slouch
And my head droops

Yet my restless mind
Escapes my body
It drifts to a land
Between Dreams and Reality

And so I rest on ideas
On giants, on creators.
I rest on geniuses
On thinkers, on knowers

I rest on expression-
On artists, on poets
I rest on a paintbrush
On a pencil, on color, on life

IDOMAD, 2009

Unknown Future

Can we not see another day
Anticipate years- a life
Reaching for distant dreams on distant shores,
Praying that they amount to something- praying
Everything will fall into place? I pray

Did not Achilles know his fate, plan his life?
In the end, he picked one day- one moment.
Enjoy today, tomorrow is as distant as death-
Miles and miles, minutes and moments
Make the most of today, but strive for the future.

Young are we- strong, mindful, yet foolish
Looking for moments in today- and yet
Overwhelming Future looms on the golden horizon-
Vague shadows lingering in our minds, so beyond us-
Even us, but today makes the future knowable


IDOMAD, 2009

The Value of Life
Inspired by Thucydides' Account of the Plague of Athens

With men aplenty, honor dies
As men run in fear for their lives
So on comes chaos, friend and fiend
For no one will survive

Money and men change hands
The first quickly- man to man
The second from life to death
Or from life to unbridled passion

Men give up to desperation
Each humming their own lamentation
Forgetting that they walk on earth
Forgetting society's higher station

Each separates himself from others
Paranoia strikes each man a blow
And they forget what it means to live
And so with men, honor goes

IDOMAD, 2009

Truths of a War

Truths of a War

What is life but a war-
and what are we but naked, forced to face the light?
We have but to put on clothes-
And learn to stand up right.

Standing up, wobbly and weak,
putting our feet between us and the ground,
and, babbling syllables, we must learn
to distinguish each subtle sound.

Growing stronger, each step longer
More determined, learning as we go-
all those who saw us long before
think, "My how much you've grown!"

And then we stand upon their shoulders-
they, our marshals and heroes.
As we get stronger, they get weaker
And away like leaves they blow.

We bear the heat of battle now,
or stand on the side, too afraid-
trembling, shaking, not wanting to die-
already beginning to fade.

Each man on the sidelines wonders
how to escape his fate- death.
And slowly each coward realizes
he, too, will breath his last breath.

Each of us who fought, now leaders,
Stronger than those who came before;
Fighting death, eager in struggle,
Thumos at our very core.

And as our children grow up,
we will teach them all we know.
They'll grow stronger, as we weaken,
and away like leaves we'll blow.

Life is fleeting, death comes fast;
This war is one our bodies cannot maintain.
But if we seek out truth, fight for right
Our deaths shall never be in vain.

IDOMAD, 2009

To My Friends

Forget you all, I could not
Indeed, I've become distracted
So many times I walked away
When I should have interacted

I'm trying to spread out
Maybe spreading myself too thin
But for now, I will cling to you
And I won't have to let go of him

I wish I didn't have to fight-
Fight this war to even the scales
But life is all in the balance-
I've found that in so many tales

And so I shall push and pull
Add simplicity, rid myself of fear
For though I may push away
I need you all, now, here.

IDOMAD, 2009

Grief

Grief

I watch another chick flick-
This one makes me cry-
As for the first time in forever,
I understand why.

The tears pour down like raindrops
Landing on a silky smooth rose
Tears pour down as I face life
And see that that's how it goes

The movie is sad, but its only a match
And my grief ignites, my longing too
I miss her more than I understand
I miss her through and through

Is this what it was like when she died-
When I felt, but didn't know
For now it erupts so strongly
It hits like winter's first snow

As the tears roll, I start thinking
What she would want of me
She'd want me to love, want me to trust
And mostly want me to be happy

And in the mirror, I see a smile
Even behind the tears
I feel the hands reaching out to me
Calming both griefs and fears

And as sleep calls to my drooping eyes
I feel the comfort and strength of someone's arm
Oddly of the living and the dead
And yet I feel safe from harm

IDOMAD, 2008

Another Poem in Life of Life

--> LIFE-->

Life is speeding down a one way road
Thunder loud and Lightning fast
Though I step on the brake,
The car exerts more gas

I listen to the radio, and dance a bit
Badly, I must admit
Though people scream as the car speeds up
I enjoy the thrill of it

I smile wide as I look ahead
As others grow silent with fear
I reach out to the passing trees
As the car draws near

Suddenly the whole world stops
As if simply put on pause
That moment of stillness,
Clarity magnifies the flaws

And in that moment people fight
As their voices and hearts explode
And so, some people decide to stay
As others decide to go

As we start again,
Some people speed on past
Some people slow way down
Afraid to go too fast

And some just take another route
Following some other yellow lines
Perhaps finding their own ways
Paying their own fines

IDOMAD, 2008

How Stupid is Santa?

I woke up one Christmas
And ran to see what Santa had left me
What else did I find but one present-
A giant, flying spider monkey!!

There was a bright red bow on its head
And attached was a small note
"Don't let him call his friends"
Was all that Santa wrote

So for years I watched him carefully
(As he and I have grown)
Until that fatal, dreadful day
I forgot to hide my cell phone

He texted all his friends,
And even called his enemies
When they came and tied me up
He seemed oddly pleased

So there I sat and watched him
While I was gagged, tied and cuffed
They started plotting to conquer the world
As if victory over me wasn't enough

I begged for them to let me go
When they had that bomb shipped to my home
I begged to call the police...
And they handed me a garden gnome

I didn't understand why they did it
Until the gnome ordered pizza for me
But then why did they wish to give me food
When they wished to destroy me

Confused and frazzled, I soon fell asleep
As thinking was such taxing work
But those monkeys you see, they never sleep
One of those giant-flying-spider-monkey quirks

I woke up to see a throne set before me
And a monkey demanding I bow
Tied up as I was, gagged in the mouth
It was impossible to do so now

So the king looked at me displeased
And demanded I be killed
And when they finally did
He should have been thrilled

Unfortunately, those giant monkeys
Don't have giant brains
Let's just say... they won't blow up the world
Or themselves.... ever again.


IDOMAD, 2008

-->Time-->

Racing a clock that doesn't slow down
And punching a clock that's hard as stone
In slowing down, you lose the battle
In pushing on, you grow weary to the bone

In wishing it would slow down, you waste it
In slowing down, you feel like you're behind
In wasting it, you never get it back again
In losing track of it, you feel like you've lost your mind

In holding onto it, you find fault in moments
In letting go, nothing seems the same
In rushing, you become predictable
Yet still in slowing down, you lose the game

Never enough to breath and tire
And yet always both- a cycle of life
Facing the world, racing our deaths
Yet another hurdle- challenging strife

IDOMAD, 2008

Prayer

Prayer

May God save them
From the essence of mortality
May they find themselves temporarily
Escaping that cruel reality

May they muster all their strength
And fight for all that's right
May their fighting have an impact
And force demons to face the light

May they hold their ground with knowledge
Backing down when truth itself must hold
May they know when fighting is all they have
And when the stakes are too high to fold

May they never hold out for foolish pride
Or think they're too strong to let tears fall
May they hold their head high
But may Your word and will have power over all.

IDOMAD, 2008

WANDER

My mind's
Wandering
Constantly today

All roads
Lead me back
To thinking of you

I keep
Focusing
On everything

Looking
For something
That might capture me--

Something
As baffling
As you are to me--

Something
Contesting
But reinforcing,

Something
So lasting-
Maybe temporary

That fights
And supports
Everything I am.

IDOMAD, 2008

Cyclone

Cyclone

Surrounded by so many people...
Feeling abandoned and alone
Disconnected, lost, and afraid
Standing firm, feeling this cyclone

The storm rages on
And I can't grip the air
I twirl, knowing something's behind me
And it's no longer there

Things I thought were over
Keep flashing before my eyes
And things fly at me
As each watery tear dries

I feel each hit, but they go numb
Hit too many times before
I walk on, bruises showing
But I feel and care no more

Through the clouds and barriers
Hands reach out to me
But I cannot walk straight through
The debris will destroy me

I challenge fate and destiny
Stepping through that storm
With my eyes closed,
I feel accomplished and warm

As realization seizes me
I open my tired eyes
And standing there freezing, naked
The comfort quickly dies

Behind me, one wind
And I could never go back
Ahead another rages
And so I remain, trapt

Surrounded by so many people...
Feeling abandoned and alone
Disconnected, lost and afraid
Standing firm, feeling these cyclones

Waiting for the hand that grabs mine
And walks with me through these wars
Someone I can see clearly
As someone I can fight for
And someone who'll fight for me



IDOMAD, 2008