Pretending

Pretending

The sun is bright, the air humid,
The house too quiet- me alone,
Too many hours to do nothing;
This summer sucks life from me.

My dreams too distant,
Reality too forced...
My blood freezes lifelessly
In these veins through which it once coursed.


The days too long and hot...
Pretending to be alive, but I'm not;
What I know of me is ingrained in my soul
At least I don't have to pay that toll.

I know who I am and who I'm not,
But I don't feel that in my heart...
I feel farther away than I ought,
I feel way too far away...

It all feels weird and out of place,
And my past haunts me here...
I don't feel alive, though I'm not dead
Holding on, pretending I do.

IDOMAD, 2008