Saturday, October 25, 2008

Foolish Pride
Don't show weakness, don't stand out
Don't run away, don't hide...
Don't ever prove yourself worthy
Of your foolish pride.

Don't hold your heart with conviction,
Or hold a hand with love;
Don't admit you need someone else-
Don't admit you need God above.

Don't show the world that you care,
Keep it all bottled up inside-
Make yourself your only witness,
As the world sees only foolish pride.

Don't hold your head in shame at defeat,
Or show when you're in pain
Only show the gaudy heat of the sun-
Not the coolness of the rain.


IDOMAD, 2008

Sunday, October 05, 2008

Is Love...

Is Love...
Is love to be questioned
Like the great God above,
Meant to be tried and tested-
Doubted- is that love?

Is love to be solid-
Or like water, paving its way?
Is it founded on who we are-
Or founded on change?

Is love the key to our hearts-
Or is it to open the doors of life?
Is it made to strengthen us-
Make us appreciate strife?

Is love to be felt and kept inside,
And sometimes be set free?
Is this love that holds us...
Or are you just holding me?

IDOMAD, 2008

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Days Have Changed

Days have changed, and the nights have too
But that doesn't change the fact I need you
I still need to be able to tell you the truth
When I know I was in the wrong
And I wish you would trust me all along

So many days have passed between you and me
And with the distance I've begun to see
That you too misunderstand
You misunderstand my intentions and honesty
Like you expect specific mistakes from me

I wish you had seen it then, but it's too late
I guess I have to endure fate
Because life isn't as simple as I wish it was
People misjudge sometimes, just as I do
And the ones who stay anyways, love you

I wish I hadn't once rolled my eyes
Or that you hadn't seen more in my latter sighs
I messed up once, and it escalated
The others were not what they seemed to be
And I wish you knew this like you know me

I could wish three million things
And the wishes wouldn't change a thing
What's done is done, past is past
And your trust can be earned back
So I should just relax

If you ever read this- no I'm not mad
I was slightly frustrated, and quite sad
But I'm over that now, I assure you
Please don't get mad at me for what I write
Because I'm not blaming you, you did what's right

Days have changed, and the nights have too
But that doesn't change the fact I need you
I still need to be able to tell you the truth
When I know I was in the wrong
And I wish you would trust me all along



IDOMAD, 2008

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Afraid
Afraid of what's new-
New people,
New places,
New feelings.

Afraid of what's old
Finding me,
Confusing me,
Consuming me.

Afraid of change-
Of changing,
And losing
Everything.

Afraid of not knowing-
What's coming,
Who's coming,
Where I'm going.

Afraid of what makes me, me-
The strength,
The pride,
The expectations.

Afraid of letting people down-
My parents,
My friends,
Myself.

IDOMAD, 2008
The Music Comes Out

The music comes out
Before I know it's there
The music I sang when I was little
With my bright blond hair

The music I've sung all these years
Silenced for a while
The songs that make me feel alive
That make me smile

I dance to these songs
Deep within my mind
While singing along
Tapping my foot in time

These notes fly up high
Where you'd never dare to go
Up where every thing's different
As it dances to and fro

This soul has sung the song I am
Beyond this silent tongue
It never should have been silenced
But I was too confused and young



IDOMAD, 2008

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Screaming

I’m screaming in the dark
But no sound is coming out
My throat is dry with my fear
My tongue lays flat- I can’t shout!

I scream because I’m truly afraid
But no one hears my cries
My only hope to convey fear
Lay in shouting with my eyes.

In whispering no one hears me
The sound there is also gone
Silence brings more fear
I can’t stand being alone

No one hears my cries
But they are not to blame
But my fear escalates
All the same

No one knows I scream in silence
No one knows I can’t breath
I panic, I suffocate
As I begin to seethe

A tear rolls down my face
But only the darkness sees
No one can hear me-
The worst disease

Suddenly with a gasp,
This spell goes away
As the sun begins to rise
Welcoming a new day


IDOMAD, 2008

Monday, August 04, 2008

Stay Strong

Stay Strong
Steady strength, standing strong
Dreaming these big dreams of mine-
Picking these radiant roses
Off these thorny vines.

Overcoming deterrents-
I always look ahead, never back...
I run into walls- I'm a klutz,
But I keep going- never to slack.

This path will bend without warning-
Leaving me near to clueless,
But I have friends who will stand by me
On this road to success.

And when it veers left not right,
And my goals seem to disappear,
They will show me that it's not what I am
But who I am, when I look in that mirror.

With all my heart I will go
I will plunge into this book and swim
I will not go looking for now,
But if he finds me, I will find him.

Keep my eye on the prize-
Remember all the pain and sacrifice;
I know I've given so much
But I haven't paid the price.

IDOMAD, 2008

Friday, July 25, 2008

"Two Hands, Two Voices"


There is a hand upon my ankle,

Trying to bind me once again

In the shackles of my past.


There is a voice whispering

That I can never move forward

"What is done will always last."


There is a hand beckoning me-

And saying to move on,

Saying I have a life to live.


There is a voice that praises me

For my realization,

For my path of redemption.


There is a hand that holds mine

With pride and triumph-

And free of prejudice, love.


There is a voice that sings to me

That tells me of love

That tells me it loves me


There is a hand that seeks mine

That needs mine for company

That wants mine for company


There is a voice that longs to hear mine

And needs it for its gentle song,

Needs its harmony.



IDOMAD, 2008

Thursday, July 24, 2008

I Am The Girl

I Am The Girl

I don’t want people to like me for pretending
To be something I’m really not
For who are we but who we pretend to be
So forever, I am me, this is all I’ve got

I am the girl who laughs at her own jokes
And reads books in childish wonder
I’m the girl who admires flowers
For their beauty and natural splendor

I am the girl who smiles as she sings
And also as she writes
I am a girl who loves with all her heart
And thinks with all her might

I am gentle and understanding
And I love running in the grass
I’m the girl who holds her breath
When hope really shouldn’t last

I am the girl who closes her eyes
To live inside her radio
To let her mind dance
To sway to and fro

I am the girl who cries because it hurts
But hides it from most of the world
Because though its cuts run deep
I still have life in me, I’m just a girl

I am the girl who dreams
And stands firm on her principle
I am the girl who doesn’t want to be called sexy
Who wants to be thought of as beautiful

I am the girl who tries to add some truth
Into this lifeless- half dead life
I am the girl who likes to help others
Through painful pangs and strife

I am the girl who looks in others’ eyes
In attempt to feel as they do
I’m the girl who is annoyed with her peers
Because of the crap they put themselves through

I am the girl who longs
For voices of her other home
I am the girl who keeps living
Though I feel alone

I am the girl I am
And I am proud of being strange
I am the girl I am
And that will never change




IDOMAD, 2008

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Dance in the Rain

Move on from sins
and all the pain;
sing in the sun,
and dance in the rain.

Walk away from meaninglessness
and find the soul of life.
Never stop fighting
for what you think is right.

Don’t just fight with words;
don’t fight with your hands.
Fight to hold your ground;
fight to take a stand.

Don’t plant trees you won’t water,
or water something never planted.
Don’t look at life as strict and cruel
and you’ll find it’s enchanted

Don’t roll your eyes at others-
you don’t know what they’re going through.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help
when you don’t know what to do.

Smile as you walk around
on this marvelous stage;
smiles can tame the heartless;
smiles can calm the rage.

Move on from sins
and all the pain;
sing in the sun
and dance in the rain.



IDOMAD, 2008

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Don't Forget Me

Don't Forget Me

Don't walk away from me-

Like you think I don't care;
Don't say I pretended-
Or just acted like I was there.

Don't give me that look-
It cuts me deeper than you think,
Because not even a poet
Can mend a heart with ink.

Don't tell people it was all my fault-
Like I planned to hurt you;
I'm not cold or heartless,
And this hurt me too.

Don't think I took this easily,
'Cause I didn't, you can see;
I will never forget you
Please don't forget me.

(Not written from experience)


IDOMAD, 2008

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Unsealed

Unsealed

I'm painting this picture

With all the smiles in my heart
I'm scribbling down my feelings
And hiding them in my art

You and I can never tell
Everything I'm feeling
We can't see through the paint
And deal everything I'm dealing

I'm painting this picture
With trouble on my mind
But I'm painting this picture
Feeling so blind

I'm painting this picture
And it makes me feel alive
With each brush stroke I know
I will survive

As my face lights up
The truth is revealed
All of the dreams, desires
And emotions unsealed


IDOMAD, 2008

Friday, July 11, 2008

My Heart Burns With Passion

My Heart Burns With Passion

My heart burns with passion-
With music and with life-
With light and shadows,
Glowing embers
It eats what it must,
Not knowing, not caring.

It basks in the rays
And expands its boundaries
It wants to bond
Tempting the other elements
Wanting to understand
Wanting to fill its void

It builds up and it gets stronger
Spurting out flames
It wraps my world in warmth
Sparkles on my face
Shines in my eyes
Brightens my world

My heart burns with passion-
Loving music, loving life-
With light and shadows,
Sparkling debris
Shining luminously
As it casts its shadows.


IDOMAD, 2008


Monday, July 07, 2008

Gotta Start Somewhere

"Gotta Start Somewhere"

I'm walking this road
With no where to go
I don't know which way is which

And I run from nothing and no one
Keeping my head high like daddy taught me to
Raise your fist, and I won't back down
But I won't start a fight unless I have to

I'm walking through this city
A stranger to every street
But friendly to all I meet

I'm walking right down this highway
Thumbing my way to nowhere
But mama always taught me
I gotta start somewhere

I'm riding along this back road
The only place I can call my home
Mama and daddy may not miss me
But they taught me to never forget where I'm from

So I'm back where I started, a good place to start
But I don't know which way to go
I guess if I follow mom and dad's directions
I really don't have to know

So tomorrow I'll start this road again
With only a start and no real end
I might go there, or maybe here,
I might settle down, in a couple years

I'm walking this road
With no where to go
I don't know which way is which

And I run from nothing and no one
Keeping my head high like daddy taught me to
Raise your fist, and I won't back down
But I won't start a fight unless I have to

I'm walking right down this highway
Thumbing my way to nowhere
But mama always taught me
I gotta start somewhere


IDOMAD, 2008

I Smile

"I Smile"

I smile because I'm alive
-
I smile because I'm me.
I smile because you're here,
And that makes me happy.

I smile because I know-
I know I'm not alone.
I smile because I will always
Have a place to call home.

I smile because I can
And because you smile back;
I smile because when I smile
Nothing's at lack.

I smile because it lightens the load
No matter how great the burden;
I smile so you don't see my tears
So you don't see I'm hurtin'...

I smile because I have to,
I have to be brick- wall strong
I smile because this journey
Is really just a song.

I smile because life's too short
Just to sit around and frown
I smile because unlike crying,
It doesn't make a sound.

I smile because I have to be strong
Even when it hurts like hell,
I smile because if I laugh
No one knows it hurt when I fell.



IDOMAD, 2008

Dawn

"Dawn"

Dawn arouses and brushes her green hair
Washing it with cool, sweet- smelling dew,
Waking birds to embrace the morning light
Calling the shadows concealed by night.

Dawn puts the creatures of night into bed,
And wraps the trees in its energy
It shows off the world humbly awakened,
And shows the beauty we want captured.

It awakens the day lilies now asleep
And invites serpents into its warmth
It calls roses to grow and vines to climb
And summons children to come and play.

It scares away the lurking fears of night
And brings hope of the bright day ahead,
Opening my heart and mind in wonder
And closing one more chapter of life.


IDOMAD, 2008

Saturday, July 05, 2008

My World/ At Peace

"My World/ At Peace"

I dream and that’s all I really can do,
But I hold my breath and trudge on through;
I keep on walking, a smile on my face,
Wishing I was in another time and place.

My heart beats faster, my soul flies high
Up in this endless, imagined sky;
The horses trot, the waves roll,
The tides are steady and beautiful in this soul.

Minds are opened wide and eyes look deeper-
Hills are grassier, but also steeper;
Thoughts make sense and so do dreams;
Clear and glassy are the streams.

Fire blazes but does not burn,
Each creature takes their own turn,
The mist cleanses everything it touches,
And nature caresses everything in its clutches.

The trees speak to each other and sing their song,
In harmony with justice- right and wrong.
Words are written as truth is disclosed,
The words aren't tampered with, but merely transposed.

The wind blows my hair and gives me a playful hug,
Tossing my hair, holding me snug;
It tells me it cares, kisses me gently on the cheek
It knows my thoughts though I do not speak.

And I cannot sleep but do not tire
Beside this toasty, safe fire.
Innocent arms around my waist
For now I feel at home- safe.

When I awake, it all disappears,
My mind thinks things that fill me with fear-
My world and I do not live in one
And tired, I know this life has scarce begun.


IDOMAD, 2008

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Seen

Seen


I’ve seen roses with thorns and flowers with none
I’ve seen people who smile when their money is gone
I’ve felt arms so warm and hearts so cold
I’ve seen dreams come true, and dreams get old
I’ve seen people who ignore others and people who care
I’ve met people who will and people who wont always be there
I’ve seen miracles happen and lives end
I’ve seen smiles turn people from enemies to friends
I’ve seen hearts broken, and had my heart peeled
I’ve seen doors open and doors sealed
I’ve seen people who do and don’t take chances
I’ve seen people who know life is a series of dances
I’ve loved many people and hated one
And that may never change, not when this life is done
I’ve forgotten who I was and found her again
I’ve spent afternoons dancing in the rain
I’m trying to be all I can be,
There’s more to life, more I can’t wait to see


It's summer again... which means sunshine and a bit of longing on my part. I always try to find the good in life, because I know it's not all bad. That was the goal of this poem, to look at its balance and know that the fall makes the summer worth it. Things get hard for me, but
always. Sometimes I find myself scolding myself for being so pessimistic. I hate being
so lonely and so pathetic, so I try to cheer up when possible. Sometimes its harder
than others. Especially when I worry about my friends and family.


IDOMAD, 2008

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

I Would Wish

I Would Wish

If I could have one wish,
I wouldn't wish for money galore-
I wouldn't wish for my dreams to come true-
I'd ask for less, not more.

I wouldn't wish for fame,
And I wouldn't wish to be pretty;
I wouldn't wish to be a queen,
And I wouldn't wish for the key to some city.

I wouldn't wish to be a superhero
Or a super villain at that
(Though the latter might be fun
For a matter of fact)...

I wouldn't get revenge on people,
Or protection from all that's wrong;
I wouldn't wish to live forever-
Forever might be too long.

Life isn't perfect,
And wishes won't make it that way.
So I'd wish you could have a wish...
And see if you'd give it away.

IDOMAD, 2008

Break Through

Break Through

I will be who I want,
And do what I want to do-
I will show the world I'm me
And this fog, I will break through...

I will love with all my heart,
And not hold back my tears-
I will hold my breath awhile
While feeling all this fear.

I will smile with all the energy,
That fades like the setting sun;
I will hold the world in my hands
And live every day,
'Cause I might only have one.

IDOMAD, 2008

Pretending

Pretending
The sun is bright, the air humid,
The house too quiet- me alone,
Too many hours to do nothing;
This summer sucks life from me.

My dreams too distant,
Reality too forced...
My blood freezes lifelessly
In these veins through which it once coursed.


The days too long and hot...
Pretending to be alive, but I'm not;
What I know of me is ingrained in my soul
At least I don't have to pay that toll.

I know who I am and who I'm not,
But I don't feel that in my heart...
I feel farther away than I ought,
I feel way too far away...

It all feels weird and out of place,
And my past haunts me here...
I don't feel alive, though I'm not dead
Holding on, pretending I do.

IDOMAD, 2008

Saturday, June 07, 2008

"If- Not By Rudyard Kipling"

"If- Not By Rudyard Kipling"
If I were to die a million deaths,
(And still have a life to live),
I would still make mistakes
And forget to forgive.

If I were to live forever...
In centuries I might learn some,
But still, I may not be the person
I dream I might become.

If I could turn time back...
So I could fix my wrongs
I wouldn't take the chance-
Perfection doesn't belong.

If I could never make mistakes
And live a perfect life...
Life would be too boring-
Without the little strife.

But I make people smile,
And laugh at their little mistakes-
Laughter might heal wounds inside
So they no longer ache.

And I can write words so true,
I can make somebody cry-
I hope I'll make a million people
Laugh and weep before I die.

The tears and smiles may not last
They may fade in time....
But those million smiles would make
Every imperfection worth the time.

Sometimes I get so caught up in my future and my past that I forget about just being me. I hold on to things in my past. I worry about school, and what to do with the rest of my life, but I forget that I have a life, a calling, to hold on to- at least for now- to show people conviction and truth as I see them.

Sometimes it's easy to find yourself lost in a world where everybody seems not to care about their own lives, but to care about the lives of celebrities. It's so easy to get caught up in this simultaneously lethargic and energetic culture. I think that so many people lose their conviction because of peer pressure and ignorance, but more because our world doesn't profess a need for it, and some people think all too often that the silence speaks for itself, but it doesn't. If you don't make a stand, nobody will.

Sometimes my greatest boundary is that I get lost in the "but I'm just a kid" idea, and forget that I can have a voice. If you are out there, if you listen, I'd love to hear from you. Thank you for listening.


IDOMAD, 2008

Slow Down

"Slow Down"

Don't talk so fast.
Slow down.
Breathe.

Breathe.

Don't run right by.
Slow down.
Stop.

Stop.

Don't cruise right through
Listen
Hear

Hear

Don't waste the moment
~Seize it~
~Taste it~
~Savor it~
~Live it~

Take the time to watch the clouds
And hold your sweetheart tight
Share a simple moment
Share a simple sight

Share a meal with your kids
And tell them that you care
No matter their age
They need to know you're there

Go see what they enjoy and their joy might spread
Watch what makes them laugh and smile
Watch them as they grow up fast
And slow the process down a little while

Moments last, but time never will
In our hearts and minds
Move too fast
And you will soon be too blind

Look at the world
As an awesome place
A place to appreciate and enjoy
Like you can't at a fast pace

So stand outside to feel the wind
Or let the sun shine in your hair
Tell everyone around you
Just how much you care

Moments make up this life
That fleets from our tiny hands
But how fast time really goes
Is at each man's command

So don't walk so fast.
Slow down.
Breathe.

Breathe.


IDOMAD, 2008

In the Eyes of A Soldier

"In the Eyes of a Soldier"

The battles swallow me
And leave thorns in my hands
That sting like the bitter hatred
That tore apart our lands.

Two things to do, two places to be
One- to stand for what is right,
Second- to be home with my family,
And hold my wife and baby tonight.

I have my brothers, sufferers too-
I am not alone in this mess,
But we, we are still alive
And in that, we are blessed.

We go for days without sleep,
And not a warm meal to be found;
We wait for days to hear from loved ones
So they may sleep safe and sound.

Sometimes its all I can do, to cry,
When I open a letter from her,
Because if I'll see my wife and baby again
Still is so unsure.

I sleep when I can so I may fight
And fight so I may sleep,
Though so far I look unscathed,
The scars run so deep,

And I will fight here, overseas
So my baby may live in a free world,
And I live from day to day praying,
I can once more kiss my girl.




IDOMAD, 2008

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Trust Them

"Trust Them"

Trust them.
they want to be there for you
they care about-
the things you say,
~but more about what you really mean~
your needs and desires,
your feelings, beliefs, and thoughts,
your worries and your fears,
your failures and your successes
~and what those mean to you~
your plans and hopes,
your dreams and those you dream about,
AND your truth
They care.

They care
And that means the world to you,
But you let your past
Stand in the way of their love
(-Remorse is too all consuming, so quit drinking it by the gallon-)
And their love can span the miles.

They need you to trust them
You need and want to let them in-
To trust them-
Let go,
Let them in-
~And trust them.~

Trust him.
he wants to be there for you
he cares about you
and wants you ~to be happy~
he wants to be with you
he wants to talk to you
he wants to know you
he truly cares.

He cares
And that counts for something,
But you let your past
Stand in the way of his caring
(-Regret is too bitter, so quit drinking it by the gallon-)
Push past it
And distance will never be an issue unless you let it be

He needs you to trust him
You need and want to let him in-
To trust him-
Let go,
Let him in-
~And trust him.~
~Trust them.~


I wrote the idea of this poem down in the form of a journal a couple months ago. I just dug it up thinking about how I felt. I felt frustrated because so many people wanted to open up to me- to be my friend- and I yet I pushed them away because I've been let down so much and I didn't want to open the door to pain again. And also, the distance between me and them is so often more than I can bear.

Publishing your journals is usually a bad idea, but I publish my journal every time I hit the "Publish Post" button. To me, it's better to have the world know how you feel and what you think instead of locking it all up, or putting it in a journal where you'll find it years later and roll your eyes saying "Boy, was I stupid".

Instead of looking back on my poems as "I was stupid" I look back on them as "I was hurting", "I was excited", "I was random", or maybe even "I was emotionally confused". Whether or not I can relate to the situation, I can always relate to the ideas and emotions. Sometimes I don't have my heart in the same place, but instead of it being a completely compartmentalized journal, poetry expands my view to life and more general areas.

I love poetry because not only does it help you relate to the rest of the world, but it helps you relate to yourself-which is sometimes surprisingly more difficult.


IDOMAD, 2008

Empty

"Empty"

I am tired of no color, no life...
I want to see something not colored gray,
But the sun, the moon, the sky, the stars
Hold the same haunting hues night and day.

The world is in bloom but I am not...
My heart is not truly awake,
But I trudge on, lifeless- dead
For I have a stretch of life to fake.

I have to pretend for a bit longer,
And those days will seem endless,
While I feel all dreary and alone
Frustrated, afraid, and friendless.

While the days are long the nights are longer,
For I cannot read nor sleep;
Writing, sometimes too much for me
Weak and weary, I cannot weep.

I fight, I push, I run, I hide,
But I can never quite get past
This emptiness inside of me-
Lingering, until I'm free at last.



IDOMAD, 2008

Sunday, June 01, 2008

Somehow

"Somehow"

Somehow the moon is phasing faster-
Somehow the stars seem dimmer,
Yet somehow the mountains still tower
And the water still glimmers.

Somehow the sounds of the city have faded,
And somehow the crickets no longer sound-
But somehow the music plays on distinctly
As the clocks' hands spin faster 'round.

Somehow I don't feel like a wanderer,
Yet somehow I've traveled far-
Somehow I am normal
As this world is totally bizarre.

Anyhow my life will not last,
Anyhow it will come to a close,
Anyhow I will endure the dirt of life,
Just to see the flowers it grows.


IDOMAD, 2008

Friday, May 30, 2008

Fairy Tales

"Fairy Tales"

When I was little I dreamed of falling in love
I used to read fairy tales galore
That told me one kiss could take a simple girl
To something so much more

And the subject faded from my mind
Because it seemed merely a distant dream
But suddenly it seems so real again,
My eyes filled with emotion- once more agleam

And yet overpowering even love,
Is fear and knowing I could bring pain
So, for mostly his sake, but also mine
I will keep my emotions restrained.

Too many people care about us
To see us hurt each other
One of whom is
only a friend,
Another, one I love as a brother

I am scared to be any closer
When it can't truly mitigate the miles
I am scared to take a step
At least for a little while

Maybe in time I will figure it out
And be happy i finally did
But as for now, I will trust myself
So I don't hurt him, God forbid

IDOMAD, 2009.

My Place

My Place

Music infuses my soul with life
And makes it dance for the world to see,
And only with music
Does my heart feel truly free.

The notes dance in my mind-
They make me smile at their play,
They make me want to live
They bring forth and end each day.

The tunes bring me hope and joy,
And a chance to be me.
They bring me whatever I want,
And most of all they make me happy.

Whether I'm on the stage-
Or singing in the shower...
Music brings the smile back-
With music, I'm empowered.

Drawing a bow across the strings
Or fingers on the keys,
Music provides me with a special place
For me and only me.


IDOMAD, 2008

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Don't Give Up

"Don't Give Up"

You give away control of your heart
And you've given away your soul-
And in losing them you paid
The poverty- inflicting toll.

Don't give up now-
Don't you see-
All that you could be?

A dream on the horizon
You can't seem to reach;
Security of enemies
That cannot be breached.

Don't give up now,
You are on your way-
You'll be there
someday.

A plan goes astray
With so little to guide-
Just think- it was confidence,
Not hope, that died.

IDOMAD, 2008

Reminisce

"Reminisce "

The stars of the night
drink up eternity
and melt me into liquid eyes.
the breeze speaks to me in its deep voice.
Life dances within,
and I awaken,
learning,
healing,
questioning,
trusting,
laughing,
living.


IDOMAD, 2008

Reason to pray

"Reason to Pray"

If all I ever am is the best I can be,
If all I ever do is keep my sanity,
If I’m loved, and I make it through each day,
Then that’s enough reason to pray.

If I wake up each morning to the sun shining bright,
Or remember that even snow reflects the light,
If my tears don’t kill me and I’m not drowned by rain,
Then I know tomorrow will help relieve my pain.

If I’m always doing what seems to be moral,
Trying my best to be honest, true, and loyal,
If I’m never looking for an easy wave to ride,
Then I know time is on my side.

If I can take a moment each day to smile,
If I can repress even my own denial,
If I sometimes, but not always get my way,
Then that’s enough reason to pray.


IDOMAD, 2008

Words Once Said

"Words Once Said"

Those words you once said have been erased
From this heart of mine.
They fell victim of carelessness and negligence-
And mostly- of time.

Those words you once said were true,
The would would really help me...
They would open my eyes again-
I would be able to see!

They would take me over oceans,
And I could fly beyond the stars,
I would be able to look at others
Exactly as they are.

I could change the future-
Be more than just a girl,
I could build a rowboat
And sail to the the end of the world.

I could sky dive from the heavens,
And drink from every lake,
I wouldn't conceive hating
Loving for love's sake.

I could live among the treetops
Without ever leaving home,
I could forge hills in to spheres
Instead of ordinary domes.

Those words you once said, though, are gone-
They have been erased from my mind...
One day they will be found and spoken again
By this soul of mine.

IDOMAD, 2008

Formositas

"Formositas"

Night crept upon them and engulfed their souls
As they trudged deeper into the forest, tripping,
Rich, wet, damp darkness thrust upon them
And on the rocks, they walked wearily, slipping.

Two men lost to a fate no one dared think of.
Eight men kept walking, their guide- fear,
And a child held the hand of a lone woman
Eyes brimming with, but not succumbing to tears.

The child stopped dead in his tracks- curious,
For he saw something shining bright.
At his finger, they followed the beam
To a passage overwhelmed with light.

For a second they stopped to ponder entrance,
Or perhaps by the sudden light, they were blind-
Either way, there was hesitation
Either by their sight or mind.

Not knowing the land on which they tread,
And still fearing possible death,
Craving answers they walked inside
The walls echoing their every breath.

Descending deep into the cavern,
Deep into the un-trodden earth,
They walked for hours Time left unrecorded
Not one questioned new Hope
’s worth.

To avoid scaring her child, and perhaps herself,
The woman whistled a familiar tune,
Down they went, tired- weary
And yet the end came too soon.

Darkness again descended,
No one dared turn back.
Surely all doubted salvation,
But none anticipated attack.

A single light they encountered,
With one more hopeful sweep.
Each remembered, by light of a single candle
They had promises of return to keep.

They stood a moment to adjust their eyes,
And contemplate their heart and feet.
But a scarlet regret washed over them
As they saw beauty and horror- both un-beat.

Neither screams nor whispers can they muster
At the sight of the throne
For what they expected to be made of wood
Was deep red marrow and bone.

A woman sat upon the dead
As if it was as normal as the night,
And yet her beauty, by one candle
Shined upon them bright.

White and glistening as winter’s snow,
A porcelain doll was she-
Lips that called them, eyes to stun;
Greater a contrast than heaven could be.

The lone woman, not caught in the trap
Began breathing heavily and fast,
And as the ten and one stood there
The one began at last:

“I am so happy to have some guests
How glad I am to see you
And of the ten that stand before me
I cannot dine with two

“This child must return
He is far too young
And I cannot take his mother
For his life has scarce begun.”

As the two left, the men came about their wits,
Yet as mother and child walked alone-
Forced to find their way back home
For the lady’s beauty, they condoned.

They followed the woman to a dining room,
Tall and fine, with golden forks and plates,
They were relieved and frustrated to see
No sign of evil, or evidence of hate.

They stared at the feast set before them
And thanked god for their seemed salvation,
Entirely forgetting their misfortune and doom
They treated the feast as a celebration.

She presented them with four dark rooms
And left the last with a grin,
One man saw light and death at once
His stomach lurched, his blood ran thin.

As his roommate slept, he heard screams
And though they were faint, terrified was he
And he recalled the layout of where he was
And fought the shrouds, struggling to see.

Two screams- then four, in the stillness of night,
And then two more arose...
And though it was enhanced by dread,
The heavy scent of blood reached his nose.

Fearing death, and wanting to live,
He stealthily fled from this place,
Eventually running, strait and endlessly
The sickness apparent in his face.

The seventh man also lived,
But life came at a great cost-
He lives his life knowing and being
The reason their lives were lost.

And each day he is reminded,
By the twin wounds and his throne...
A newly born vampire in an immortal forest
Sitting on his friend's bones.

I wrote this poem a few months back, and no, I'm not as psychotic or depressed as it might suggest, I just had been reading a few vampire books and figured I'd test my boundaries on poetry and see if I could write an epic poem with a feeling I had never captured before... I think I succeeded!

IDOMAD, 2008